Saturday, February 16, 2013

7 Days of Memories: Day 1

"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in   

life, it's the only weapon we have."   -Roger Rabbit


When I was little - less than 10 - I was at my grandma's house and I was rummaging through the linen/medicine closet as one does and I came across an old doll. It was pretty beat up and all of the limbs were out of the body so I asked what the deal was and either my mom or grandma said to me "Oh it's an old doll - it needs to be repaired" and I replied "How can we fix it?" and my mom said "You send it to the Doll Hospital (a real thing - its doll conservation) and they rebuild it" to which I replied not even realizing it "So she's so old she needs plastic surgery?"

That was the first time I remember consciously making someone laugh - my mom and grandma both laughed and my grandma said to me "We've got a Shecky"

I've always said to people that I want to leave this earth making someone laugh or have my last words be something funny or inherently "me." Most people that know me know that I will do almost anything and say almost anything to get people to laugh and I am not afraid to make "that" joke or make garish faces to make someone laugh who is having a bad day. That day at my grandma's house I realized how it felt to make someone smile and I unknowingly began trying to do that as often as I could.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

New Perspectives

For 10 years I have put faith in people that are snakes
For 10 years I have worked my ass off in thankless jobs
For 10 years I have offered my expertise at no charge 
For 10 years I have been the peacemaker
For 10 years I have been the one to turn the other cheek
For 10 years I have been a pushover

In the last year I have been overlooked
In the last year I have been stabbed in the back
In the last year I have been told my opinion is wrong
In the last year I have bent over backwards only to be ignored
In the last year I have been rejected

For the next 70 years I am going to be your personal Karma

People who know me understand that I have a very high emotional range. I am either insanely happy or miserable with no way to console myself. I just assumed this was my personality, and in part it is. I am not an indifferent person in anything. However, I have been building up a lot of....rage? Yeah. Rage. 

If you insult me, degrade me, speak down to me or say something derogatory I am not turning the other cheek and I am most certainly being the bigger person. This goes for treating my friends in this matter as well. I am too young to have to carry emotional negativity and heartache. I am too young to just "get through" my life and "bear with it."

I will be your own personal dose of karma and you will fall into 1 of 2 folders in my heart. You will either be a person whom I will bend over backwards for with no questions asked. I will always try to help you and I will always stick up for you. If you hurt me or my friend though I will personally make it my mission to crucify you. I will never help you, I will never offer my advice, I will never smile at you, any greeting I give you will be cold and obligatory. I will be the mirror image of what you are. You will lose someone in your life that could have been a good ally. Once my good opinion is lost it is lost forever. I do not forget and I do hold grudges.

This does not mean I do not forgive - I will forgive anyone who is sincerely apologetic for their behavior and who has a 180 attitude adjustment. My grudges are what I will hold to remind me that not everyone can be counted on and trusted. My grudges protect me and my friends from future harm.

I will fight tooth and nail for my beliefs and practices from now on. I will not compromise just to keep the peace. 

If you invite drama into my life without my permission or support then I will keep you out of my life.

I would rather be fired from every job I take than for one moment continue to pretend everything is ok and that your behavior is acceptable. 

I will tell it like it is and not apologize for it. 

If I lose you as a friend so be it. I know who I can count on and I know who I love and those people are the only ones who truly matter.

Gratitude

10 Things I am Grateful For
1.) A place to live rent free while trying to find my niche

2.) People who will always have my back in my professional and personal life

3.) Fleur de Lis and Paisley print tights

4.) A car that is paid for and gets me from A to B

5.) My professional education even though it isn't serving me right now

6.) My cat even when he sits on my chest and waits for my demise

7.) Nature

8.) Green tea

9.) The ability to make people laugh even when they're at their lowest 

10.) My ability to assimilate and go with change